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The Enneagram is a personality system that offers uncanny and powerful insights into why we think, feel and act the way we do. There are nine Enneagram styles. As you discover your type, you can identify your underlying motivations because underneath each type is a basic belief you have about the world.
By understanding your type, you identify your coping strategy and keys for personal and professional development.
What does the word mean?
Ennea is the Greek word for nine and gram means something written down or drawn.
Don't personality systems put people in a box?
Yes, when used incorrectly, they can. All of us are guilty of over using or abusing any typology or category we use to identify people (ALL men/women act that way, "Brits are sarcastic," "French people are snobs").
Yet, humans naturally use categories to help us make sense of ourselves and the world. When used properly, the Enneagram is a profound tool for understanding ourselves and others in our lives.
The Enneagram, when used consciously, frees us from the burdens and limits of our self imposed boxes for we are far more than our personality style.
How can I determine my type?
By reading more about your type, answering some questions to help you think about ways you may act, think, and feel, by scheduling a typing interview with a professionally certified teacher, by going to workshops in your area and by talking to other people and receiving constructive feedback. Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine your type. Be patient with yourself.
How can understanding personality patterns facilitate healthier personal and professional relationships?
Understanding ourselves and others engenders compassion which also leads to healthier personal and professional relationships.
If you understand personality patterns, you can learn how to communicate more effectively. For instance, if you are a type who is highly attuned with relationships, and your boss or spouse is more concerned with data and facts, you may run into conflicts in getting your needs met. Understanding the conflict style of each type allows you to be aware of potential pitfalls and triggers that undermine peaceful resolution.
Most importantly, because the Enneagram types us from our inner motivations and identify clear patterns, we can observe ourselves "on the spot."
We can notice when we are acting on "autopilot," then take a deep breath and choose differently. You notice by cultivating "mindfulness."
What is mindfulness and why is it important when learning the Enneagram?
Because mindfulness (being aware in each moment) generates good self-observations skills. With mindfulness, you can observe your patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.
Meditation and contemplation are practices to develop mindfulness. There are a number of tools to help you learn meditation regardless of religious beliefs-meditation does not interfere with religious beliefs or lack thereof. (Look under Resources on this section).
Why is it so important to know how our type "pays attention?"
Because energy follows attention. If you are hungry, you think of food and see restaurants when you drive down the road and you want to stop by.
If you are pregnant, you notice babies and strollers in the grocery store and your energy may go to thinking about babies or asking about babies.
Each type pays attention in a different way and if we notice how we are paying attention, we can redirect our attention. For instance, if you are a One, the Perfectionist, you may be paying attention to correcting error and appear critical.
With simple mindfulness, you can take a deep breath, and redirect your attention to appreciating different ways of doing things "right."
You can choose to act with intention rather than acting on autopilot.
What do you mean by autopilot?
Each type has unconscious motivations for feeling, thinking and acting a certain way. An autopilot reaction is an automatic reaction without observing the pattern that drives the reaction.
For instance, if you are a Type Two, you may be unaware that the pattern of giving to others has a deeper motive-to feel valued for what you give rather than who you are.
You may be unaware that giving to others ultimately is what gives you value. An autopilot reaction for a Two might be flattering someone or giving something to someone with hopes of getting something in return-appreciation, value, love. It's also known as "giving to get."
Can I change types as I grow?
When you commit to self development, you become less reactive, but you are always the same type. People may comment, "You have really changed" or "You seem less stressed or angry/fearful/image conscious," but you are still the same type.
The goal is not to change types. It is to become a healthier version of yourself which happens with self-observation. And, self-observation is never automatic. It's a lifelong commitment with innumerable benefits.
How can I get my spouse/kids/boss to change?
Changing yourself is the beginning. When they see that you are less reactive, they may choose to grow themselves. Happiness is an inside job. You can only change yourself. Modeling behavioral changes, as many parents know, is far more powerful than any words.
My experience has been if you try to force insights on other people, they often resist. So, if you would like, share your experience in a non-threatening way, and if they show an interest, send them to this site or one of the many resources listed on this site.
